Welcome to my website and thank you for taking a look around. I am really proud of how far my art business has grown and I am more proud of who I've become in the process. I continue to set goals for myself and with enough patience, drive, and encouragement from those around me, I can confidently say I am reaching them.
A long-term goal or dream that I have had on my horizons for most of my life is to write a book. My dad instilled this in me since I was a little girl. He is a storyteller and proud of it, too. His stories are sometimes so grand they seem to be a fable or a twisted truth. But if you are one of the few who know my pops personally, you're probably laughing right now, knowing that his stories are actually as wild as they sound.
Growing up with this wild man of the last frontier, in my opinion, makes my life something worth writing about. As I grew older and more adventurous, he often joked about taking me back out to the cabin (where I spent most of my younger years) and leaving me there until I was finished writing a book. This was his empty threat to protect me and keep me from the 'big city' life that he thought I might seek as a teenager and young adult. Perhaps I have a goal to write a book because I know some of my stories are worth sharing or maybe it is just to make my dad's dreams come to life.
I've attempted to write a book many times over the years, often worrying that if I didn't get it done soon, I may not finish it in my father's lifetime. I would start by drafting a timeline of events, then I would try and figure out what is factual and what is a mix of my memories and stories I have been told over the years. I would write a few chapters and then worry that I had missed something important and then overthink the timeline and the storyline. I expected to write a masterpiece in minutes and was setting myself up for failure. What did I do with those chapters and stories? I deleted them, shredded them, and even burnt them in a dramatic attempt at a fresh start.
So now, I start my story with a blog. A flow of my thoughts as if I was talking to a friend. As time allows and as the desire to write comes to me I am going to add a blog entry. Over time I will tell my stories, share my memories, and learn from my own experiences by re-living them with a new perspective. I invite you to read along and hope you enjoy. I can already tell I am going to have fun doing this. It has been a few years since I have written something other than literature for work or college.
Circling back to my first paragraph... I am proud of Sierra 2.0 and that is a new feeling. It is no joke that self-love is the hardest love to find. I am not sure why our brains are wired to sabotage ourselves but that may be one of the hardest battles of our lifetimes. I am happy that I am learning to love myself at an early age and I attribute my successes to my parents, grandparents and my experiences. I look forward to what I will learn in the upcoming years and to meet Sierra 3.0 and her accomplishments. Heck, maybe Sierra 4.0 will have a published book... but if not, at least we know Sierra 2.0 made an attempt and that is something worth celebrating.
It is hard to know that you are doing something worth celebrating while you are in the midst of it. It is hard to see the positives that will come when you feel some level of negativity or self doubt. Sometimes you can't even notice that you are in a season of change because you don't know that you deserve something different. You don't believe that you can achieve it. I am not trying to say that life before Sierra 2.0 was dark, dreary, or something to forget about. The opposite in-fact. There is something to be learned from every experience, big or small, and I think I feel so great about my life right now because I am at a place in my life where I can look back and learn from different moments. I can reflect and see how certain milestones changed me, for the better.
I have lots that I want to write about, and I have no idea what order I plan to tell my tale, but I hope you enjoy reading along and if not, oh well, I am doing this for me (and if we’re being honest, for my papa).
Sierra Winter Smith Artwork by Sierra Winter 907-491-5016